Stained, Warmed, Numbed

Her lips were stained from the red wine she drank.

She drank to swallow her pain.

She felt warm and numb at the same time.

…is that even possible?

It was in that moment.

The wine warmed the coldest parts her heart. The numbness took away the pain. Even if only for a gulp.

If only for a gulp she could feel the feelings she never allows herself to feel. All the feelings she wishes she could feel. All of the feelings she really wants to feel but keeps it buried until the wine splashes at the bottom of her glass, reaches her lips, and covers her tongue.

She wishes to sip wine forever, without the shame of being an alcoholic. She just likes the freedom that the wine affords her. The feelings that she can afford to feel and not loose anything of herself or the things that she worked for. For her that is a true freedom.

She wishes she had it.

But for now, she will drink the wine that stained her lips, warmed her heart, and numbed her feelings.

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